Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
