How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
