dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
