Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The adults are the big ones right?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
