ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
