these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize