She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
