You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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