Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
How does it feel to date your dad?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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