just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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