I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
