i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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