Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
