He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
