whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
