when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
