I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
