I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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