Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
