sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
