Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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