I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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