When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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