If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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