Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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