The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
