I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
