Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
