nutella sex= disaster
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Send help, water and tortillas.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
