Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize