Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Holy sore nipples Batman
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
