babies were throwing up all over the place
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
