Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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