If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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