Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
