I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
