hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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