He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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