friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
