Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
