If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
