I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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