i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize