thus making me awesome and them whores
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize