how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
