I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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