Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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