You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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