It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
