I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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