how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
