That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
