He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
