Small penises have feelings too.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
