You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
