1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I bet he comes in French.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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