My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
