nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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