did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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