she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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