Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
