well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
