i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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