dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
