fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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