How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
