Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
